Thursday, September 14, 2006

A Reader Seeks Fashion Advice From Me, Wolfie!

Dear Wolfie,

I woke up this morning and it was grey and overcast, which means I have to start thinking about my wardrobe for fall. I have a very limited budget and have no idea where to begin! What are some key pieces I need for the season? Should I get shoes? If so, flats or boots? Or do I need a coat? Cardigans? Or some awesome black pants? Help!!!

Fashion Fauxter, Los Angeles

First of all, I am VERY glad to see the word "Faux" in your name. The only fur you should wear this fall is FAUX. It's the truth!

And on to your question, let me tell you that fall is a time to be lively. There is a briskness in the air that'll put a bounce in your step. So don't get heels that are too high! Flats and low-heeled boots will allow you freedom of movement on your walks. My summer hairdo is growing out and soon I will have my signature "shoe-boots"! that's when the fur grows into points like little shoes at the tips of my feet. I'm thinking you may want some pointy shoes, too. Not so pointy that your feet are squeezed, but points are fun.

Now, all the pieces you mention are excellent key wardrobe pieces. I may be Wolfie, a Pom, but I am observant when it comes to nice fashions! I even have some nice fall sweaters of my own. For you, dear reader, I recommend one pair of black pants in an interesting fabric. Not boring! A crisp, white button down shirt, one pair of low shoes and one pair of boots. Best to invest in your coat at the end of the season when you can get it on sale. Since you live in Los Angeles, you can probably go a season without a new one. But if you don't buy a new coat full-price this fall, definitely invest in a versatile wool car coat/jacket with interesting buttons. Coats sure are expensive when you can't grow your own!

Namaste, Fauxter!!!!

Take it from me, Wolfie!: Fashion is fun but it changes fast as the breeze! There will be new choices next year! You'll see!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

ANOTHER Oscar who reads The Wolfie Report responds!

Dear Wolfie

I must admit I am a little jealous of your break for freedom. (The picture is of me imagining such an escapade!)

The guy that sprang me from the doggie jail in San Diego seemed nice enough at first. (Don't pee on carpet. He gets pissed!) He gave me great food and a nice couch for me to lie all over and watch war movies. (I have a soft spot for World War II battle movies.) And every day after he came home wearing a tie, he would take me to the park where I could chase lizards and sniff other dogs.

But then things changed. He drove away in a truck early one morning and some other guy put me in my car and drove me on the parkway to this really busy place. I feel I'm back in doggie prison. Every time the guy leaves the door open, I sneak over and look down on the street. So many cars! (I'm not fond of cars.) All those cars take the wind out of my sails.

Also the quality of the parks in this neck of the woods leaves much to be desired!! (Do you know of any grassy areas where I can roam free without getting dumped in the tub when I get home?)

Back in the other place we were living there were cats to chase and I would shimmy into the storm sewers. (The guy that takes care of me didn't like that either. He's no fun!) No cats to chase here either!

So I must congratulate you on the daring dash for freedom that you made. I will have to live vicariously through your adventure. I think that guy is coming so I will have to cut this short!

Another Oscar

Dear Another Oscar,
The beauty of nature is necessary for peaceful thinking! I know what you mean. But believe me, getting lost in Echo Park really was stressful. From your photo, you are bigger than me. I'm tiny (though big in spirit!) and have never felt tinier than when I was tearing down Coronado. I don't recommend it! I advise finding a nice grassy area like you mentioned. There is a nice one up the little hill at Bronson Canyon. You can visit the cave before. It's a bat cave with no bats but a real cave. The guy who takes care of you can bring nice cheeses for you or maybe french fries. They are my new favorite! The path continues onto a long hike up a hill with many vistas. I'm too small to do it but you might be able to bear the exertion. Please, don't make a break for it. It is very dangerous with bad (coyote) influences and cars that don't see. Please know it. I'm telling the truth! Namaste, Another Oscar!

Take it from me, Wolfie!: Play it safe on the mean streets!